Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
