literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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