he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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