in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
