I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
