And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
