These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
don't judge my taste in strippers
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
