Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's never too late to be topless.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
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Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Randomize