Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
