...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
