there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry about my life...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
