i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
