Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Buhtt sex?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize