She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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