i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
