So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
