See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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