You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I am one with the molecules
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize