i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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