She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i will never coherently bang her
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
