"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
