sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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