But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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