So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You were trust falling into bushes
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
