I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
