I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you inspire me to be a worse person
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
