Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
