she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
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I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.