I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
a search helicopter?!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.