chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am