he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I have surprise drugs for everyone
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.