he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
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Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.