Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
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I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.