I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
