I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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