Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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