my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
