Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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