My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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