dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I love you. Go after that dick
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
