haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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