I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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