If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
this will be a night to untag.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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