So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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