would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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