Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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