Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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