you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
