Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
