Who did Billy Mays play for?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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