Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
do herpes really smell.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
