The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
