I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
