after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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