would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
