Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
