just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize