their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
