After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
