when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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