u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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