Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
