i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize