You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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