Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
