what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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