i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
