I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
