i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
