Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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