yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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