your room smells of hookers.
And success
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
